The Way I Loved You
by Amour de l'eau
Summary: Based off the song "The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift. When Sam finds a new guy after breaking up with Danny, what does she feel? SHe writes it down in her diary, hoping to keep it a secret from wandering eyes.


_**I was deleting files o**__**n my computer w**_**_hen I found this, almost done. I just had to finish it. So, I did. :D. Hope you like it. It's based off of Taylor Swift's song "The Way I Loved You." Great song, I suggest listening to it. :)._**

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The Way I Loved You

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_April 26__th_,

How do I begin? Should I start with the all the good things in my life, or the bad things? This is why I told Jazz I couldn't keep a diary. I wouldn't know what to say.

"Just vent out your feelings, since you won't talk to me." She had said, scowling.

It's true. I won't talk to anyone. Not my friends, Jazz, Tucker and Valerie, not my boyfriend, and not my ex-boyfriend. I just know no one would understand. My problems revolved around my boyfriend and my ex. Is that where I should start? I guess that's where I begin. Maybe everything will unfold after this.

_**He is sensible and so incredible**_

His name is Conner. Conner Beaumont. I meant him at one of the parties my parents went to. I had gone, not caring anymore. Before, I would never go to these kinds of things.

Conner had struck up a conversation with me. Talking about how the party bombed, how he wished he were home reading or writing music, how his parents were the complete opposite of him. I agreed. Being the only vegetarian Goth in the family was hard.

Then, he asked me to dance. I shrugged and let him lead me to the crowd of people dancing. He used the craziest dance moves, making me laugh for the first time in weeks. A slow song came on not too long after. I had turned to leave before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to him and he held out his hand. I had bit my lip, but nodded.

After that night, he called me. We went on a few dates and I think he fell in love with me right then and there. He kissed me after our second date, while we were at the movies. I was happy and everything, my head told me so, but I didn't think my heart did. I never seem to listen to me heart anymore.

_**And all my single friends are jealous**_

Jazz and Valerie wish they could go out with an "extremely handsome, caring, smart gentleman" like him. They always ask me if he had any single friends like him. I would shrug and giggle back into the conversation that was taking place.

_**He says everything I need to hear and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better **_

Conner said he was going to go vegetarian and try out being a Goth, just for me. The funny thing is, he went for it. By this day next week, it will be two months without meat or any animal products for him. For being a Goth, he's not an extreme one. No piercing, no make-up, and not enough gloom. It's still the fact that he's trying is the best, right?

He knows I'm rich, but we both are. He doesn't care though. It's a secret he keeps hidden from all his other friends. Also, because he's rich, his family's moving to Amity Park. In a few days, my boyfriend's coming to Casper High to join Valerie and I. Maybe Tucker will hang out with us a little more. That's good. My head tells me so. I'm going to get Tucker back.

_**He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says you look beautiful tonight  
And I feel perfectly fine**_

I went on a date earlier with the boyfriend. We went to a nice restaurant, so I had to wear a dress. I went shopping with Jazz over the weekend. I only own one other dress, but it brought back too many memories from before. I couldn't wear it, or even look at it. It's hanging in the far back of my closet, in a black hanging bag, because I don't have the guts to just trash it. I decided to just buy a simple black dress and some shoes to match.

When he picks me up, he comes inside, like he always does. He talks to my parents before we leave. We walk out the door into a clear night. He grabs my hand, and I let him. I'm suppose to. It's what my head tells me.

He reaches to car before I do, and opens the passenger side door. Nodding toward the interior of the car, he smiles, soft and warm. I give a small smile back before I get into his car. I stare at my hands as he shuts the door and gets in on his side.

"Sam." He whispers softly. I turn to look at him. His smile matched his eyes, warm and caring. "You look beautiful tonight."

I smile, mutter "Thanks." and turn my head. While he starts the car, I look at the mirror on the side of the car. My face was pale, with no hint of a blush. I haven't blushed in months. Is that okay? To not blush when he comments on how I look?

My heads screams "Yes!" like how I would want it. My heart just stops talking to me.

_**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name**_

I couldn't sleep again. So I decided to write my problems out. Conner was one of them. Danny Fenton is the other. Right now, I hiss his name. He's the reason I can't sleep, the reason my heart won't tell me anything, why I've moved on the Conner, and why I won't blush when he talks to me. All stupid, ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend, half ghost, superhero, ghost fighting, "Who's Sam?", new girlfriend every week Danny Fenton's fault.

Now my heart's telling me I miss him. I can't deny that either. I do miss him. I miss his jokes, his hugs, his desire to keep everyone he loves safe, his friendship, and his kisses.

We went to the park once and it started to rain. Danny insisted to fly me home, but I ran off, yelling "Race you to the big fountain!" I beat him, even if he had stronger muscles because of ghost fighting. When he had caught up to me, he hugged me from behind. I turned to look at him. Water was running down his face from his bangs. He didn't seem to notice.

"Since you won, what do I have to do for you?" He asked, staring into my eyes and giving me a soft smile.

I smiled. "You have to kiss me, out here in the rain." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. We stared into each other's eyes, smiling before he spoke.

"I'll do anything for you, Sam, because I love you." And he kissed me, soft and warm, during the cold, pouring rain.

_**You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you**_

Why did Danny leave? Because I didn't keep him around. I didn't bother to. I just gave in and he left me, empty. That was when I decided to stop listening to my heart. It only held memories that hurt too much to think of. Reminds me of all the things I miss. So, I just ignore it.

_**Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you**_

Now, I don't feel that way toward Conner. I think I love him. No, I _do_ love him. I just don't feel the kind of way I did when I was with Danny. I feel differently with different people, right? So that's okay, right? Ignoring my unspoken heart, I know it is.

_**He respects my space and never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will**_

When I need my alone time, Conner understands. He stays away, doesn't call, doesn't visit, and doesn't do anything. Sometimes, when I'm like this for more than two days, he sends red roses. They aren't my favorite. My favorite are lilacs. But guilt always gets the best of me there, and I call him. It doesn't happen much often anymore, but it still does.

He is never late for anything. So if I say dinner at six, he's there at six. He never was a minute late for anything. Punctual was a trait I hadn't really dealt with before, so it was a shock at first. Now, I just know he wouldn't be late, unless there was a huge emergency. That means phone calls, too. Every night at nine, he calls to say goodnight. He says he'll call in the morning at a certain time. I wake up at his calls most of the time, just at the time he said he would.

_**He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father**_

Conner's parents are good friends of mine. So, he knows just what to say to my mother. She absolutely loves him. She even overlooks his newly acquired Goth look. It made no difference to her. They talk whenever he comes over.

With my father, they talk about the money left to use because of my family of inventors. The economy, money handling, or anything like that, is spoken between the two. They even talk like this at the dinner until my grandmother shushes them. I don't usually say anything when he stays for dinner or when he just visits. When he talks to the family, I don't talk.

_**He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable**_

I never said I wasn't happy, did I? I am. I'm content and happy. At least, that's what I'm being told by my smart head. How could I go against it? It's helped me through everything that has happened so far. So, I believe my head, 99.9%.

_**But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you**_

That other .1% of me is listening to my heart. My crazy, crazy heart. It used to tell me to go back to the boy who wants to be an astronaut. But wasn't he the one who left me? It's true, but I didn't bother to keep him around. I had just let him go. I was upset because we were having another fight. Why do I miss those fights? Was it because he actual cared what happened to me? So he would tell me something, and I would yell at him. Love is just so confusing.

_**Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you**_

Being in a relationship with Daniel Fenton was different from anything I had ever experienced. Even when he was Danny Phantom, he was still the same boy who made me fall in love with him. His laugh, his smile, his eyes, his over-all personality. That was what made me let my guard down and fall a little too hard for him. I don't think I've fallen in love with Conner yet, but I will in time. Right?

_**He can't see the smile I'm faking**_

I'm just telling myself that I'm happy. The smiles? Fake. The giggles and laughs? Fake. The love I throw into my kisses? Fake, fake and fake. I think I'm close to being natural. I don't know though. I just don't know anymore. Ugh. Maybe soon, I'll be Samantha Beaumont. Then, it'll all be natural. A little part of me still wants to be Sam Fenton, but I know that dream was shattered when Danny walked out the door, the class ring in his fist, while I scowled and screamed at him.

_**And my heart's not breaking  
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all**_

My heart is barely anything anymore. It broke all those months ago. So I don't feel much love toward anything, when the only thing that can love is gone. I don't really love Conner, but I'm trying. He's a sweet guy, but I don't want to break him.

_**And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating intoxicating complicated**_

Even though I had known him for years, I really never understood Danny. I understood most of him, but not all of him. I used to know him so much, much more than I knew myself. He was always there to protect people because he always thought it was what he was supposed to do. That's how it all ended.

"Danny. Stop. I'm okay." I had told him. We were in a ghost fight and I got a fairly large cut on my arm. Of course, Danny flew me right home after he caught the ghost. Now, he was worrying.

"What if you got hurt even more, Sam? What would I able to do then?" He countered, watching me fix my arm. His brow furrowed as he stared at the cut.

I scowled at him. "But I _didn't _get hurt worse. So stop before I suck you into the Fenton Thermos." And I wasn't joking either. I hated when he did this. He got hurt all the time, but I didn't bug him. Why was he bugging me? I know now he was just trying to protect me, but then, I had a quick temper and would not let him tell me what to do.

Danny held up his hands, palms up. "Okay, you didn't get hurt worse. I'm sorry. Just don't suck me into the Fenton Thermos." His expression softened, so did mine. My anger faded.

I sighed. "Okay. I won't." I put the first-aid kit back into the bathroom and fell onto my bed. I shut my eyes as he bounced on my bed beside me. After a few minutes, I was completely relaxed.

I _was_ relaxed, until he muttered, "Just no more ghost fighting."

_**Got away by some mistake and now. **_

I shot up. "What?!" I screeched, glad my parents and grandmother were gone. I stared daggers at him as he sat up too.

"I said, 'No more ghost fighting.' I can't let you get hurt because of me. So, you are not ghost fighting with me anymore. It's too dangerous." He calmly told me, staring into my eyes.

He grabbed my hand, but I threw it back at him. "You are _not_ allowed to tell me what to do, _Daniel!_" I screeched again. My quick temper took me over again. I didn't even let my parents tell me what to do, so I wasn't letting my boyfriend tell me what I could or couldn't do.

His brow furrowed again. "I am when it involves me, _Samantha!_" He yelled back, jumping off the bed. That hit a nerve.

I jumped of the bed and pointed a finger at him. "_No one_ calls me _Samantha!"_ I yelled, obviously angry. My other hand was clenched in a fist, as was both of Danny's hands.

"Well, _I _just did, _Samantha!" _His voice was calm and loud. I was sure the butler and the maids could hear, but I didn't care. I was too upset with him to care about anything.

I screeched angry and fell back on my bed. Danny was walking out of the room. "Where do you think you're going?" I screamed. I didn't know why I cared, I just did.

He yelled, "Home!" He threw a dirty look over his shoulder as he walked out of my room.

I ground my teeth as I screamed, "You _forgot_ something!" I pursed my lips, angry, and smashed my teeth together.

His head rounded the corner. His facial expression was so angry. "And what's that, Sam? If you're looking for an apology or a kiss from me, you are _not _getting one." He spat as he yelled back at me.

"I hope I never have to kiss you again!" I screamed, pulling off his ring and flinging it at him.

He caught it, clenched his fist, and yelled back, "Well, you never have to again! It's over, _Samantha!" _And he stormed out of the room.

"I hate you, Danny Fenton!" I screamed.

That was the last time I ever talked to him. I see him in school, but I don't do anything. When I see him, I just turn. I knew it was my fault we broke up. If I had just controlled my temper, maybe things would be better. I would be the girl Danny brought with him everywhere. Too bad I'm not. I'm just lonely Sam Manson. As soon as we graduate, I'm leaving this town and never looking back. I'll never have to see Danny Fenton again. That's what I want, isn't it? Some people say holding on is what makes you strong. But sometimes, it takes much more strength just to let go and move on. So, I'm saving up my strength for that. Soon, I'll be over the only guy I have ever loved until I meet the next guy standing in line. Maybe that's Conner. Either way, I'm going to get over Danny Fenton, hero of Amity Park and the guy I feel in love with, whether I like it or not.

_Sam Manson_

The diary was thrown against a wall as a boy growled in frustration. "Why? Why? Why?" He growled, eyes turning an un-humanly green. Danny Fenton quickly regretted reading Sam Manson's diary. He didn't take it; it ended up in his pile of books. He found it when he got home from school and he dumped the pile on his desk. The little black book stood out. Curiosity got the better of him and, before he knew it, he was reading Sam's personal thought. He read from when she only had a crush on him, to the last entry she had submitted. It was the last one that made him the most upset.

He was upset because Sam was trying to move on. He was upset because he wasn't. He was upset because another guy was kissing Sam, because this guy loves her, because she might love him back. He was the most upset because Sam wanted to forget him, and he still loved her with all his heart and all his soul.

All the girls he's been dating were so he could try and forget the Goth. None of them worked. He would compare them to Sam. _Oh, she likes the same movies as Sam. This girl's favorite color is purple, just like one of Sam's. This girl like roses the best, unlike the lilac loving Sam. _ It was driving him crazy. Just seeing her walk down the hallway without him drove him nuts.

In a few days, though, she would have Conner in tow with her. They would be the perfect couple, both Goth and ultra-recyclable vegetarians. Danny would be left out as this girl he loves was falling for another guy. It was Gregor, all over again. Except this time, Danny knew his feelings for Sam. He pounded his head against the wall as tears brimmed his eyes.

_**I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain. **_

Danny missed Sam. He missed her laugh, her smile, her dark glare she gave Paulina, and her stubborn personality. It matched his stubborn personality. They would fight and yell when they didn't agree, but they usually cooled off. They fought because they cared for each other. It sounded crazy, but he missed the fighting. He missed Sam screaming at him when he was stepping out of line with her. Even as best friends, she did that. He loved how she didn't. Just like Sam, he loved it when they kissed. It was like magic to him. When it was cold and they were soaking from the rain, holding her made him feel like the whole thing was real. He missed that, and so did Sam.

Suddenly, he stopped. _Sam misses me!_ He threw a punch into the air. He might get Sam back. He scooped up her diary and ran to his window. He turned to the clock on his night; the time distracted him._ 1:52 a.m._ He shrugged. Hopefully, she would be awake. She wrote she was having sleeping problems. Transforming into Danny Phantom, he phased through his bedroom wall and flew off toward the Manson's.

It took about six minutes to fly there. Usually it took around four minutes. He had an excuse though; he was nervous. Last time he had talked to Sam, she screamed that she hated him and threw back his ring. That ring was now in his pocket. Even in Phantom form, he had pockets. He knew he wouldn't have it in his possession after tonight. Even if Sam didn't take it, he would throw it out into the street. He couldn't give it to another girl when her name was engraved in it. Unless he met another girl named Sam or named Wes. She had told him that's what she thought was engraved on the inside.

He finally reached the Manson house. It was the only street on the block with a light on in one window. He flew up to the window, immediately recognizing it as his destination.

Sam's window was closed, but that was expected. No sense-able person would leave their window open on a cold April night. Inside her room, Sam was awake. She was looking for something. _Probably this._ The diary felt heavy in his hands. Danny thought about knocking, but he knew she wouldn't let him in. He phased through her bedroom walk, invisible.

She sensed something. "Who's there?" She had been around ghosts long enough to know when one was close. Turning around, she searched the room. The Goth could feel the air grow colder than it was a few seconds ago.

The ghost boy swallowed. Taking a deep breath, he showed himself.

_**It's 2 AM and I'm cursing your name**_

"_Danny!"_ She hissed, fists clenched. "What are you _doing?_" Her face flushed. She wasn't sure if it was anger, embarrassment, or the fact he snuck into her room. She still acted like she was angry. If Danny knew she liked him here again, it would turn the last year of high school from worse to horribly unbearable.

"_Sam!_" He hissed back, but with different intentions. "Keep it down. You don't want your parents to wake up and find me in here at 2 in the morning." That would be extremely bad. Her parents were known to jump to conclusions. A teenage boy in their daughter's room would jump to the major conclusion. He didn't need that.

Temper got the better of her again. "Don't you_ dare_ tell me what to do!" Before her temper brought it way too far, she calmed herself down. "Besides, my parents soundproofed my room years ago so they don't have to listen to my loud music. The only way they could hear us is if I screamed at the top of my lungs. So they won't come in here." She reassured him, seeing the worried look on his face. This hit a sensitive spot in her that rose when he came back. "I repeat though, what are you doing?" She asked, turning to sit on her bed.

Danny swallowed. Suddenly, he wondered if he should have just returned the diary when she was asleep and talked to her in the morning. He was afraid of her reaction. Slowly, he held up the small book in book in his hand.

"Is that. . ." She hesitated, hoping it wasn't true. If it was her diary, the rest of her high school career was ruined. She wouldn't be able to face Danny ever again. He probably already told Tucker, so there goes her friendship with him. What if he tells Valerie or Jazz? They wouldn't be happy with her for not trusting them.

He nodded and pursed his lips. There he was, ready for whatever fury she was about to release. He knew she was going to yell and scream at him for having her diary. She probably assumed that he read it. He mentally prepared himself.

He didn't prepare himself for her true reaction. She burst into tears. He stood there, awestruck. He had only seen her cry two times before. Once when she was little and the day he asked her to be his girlfriend. All those times, he was there to comfort her. _Why should this time be any different?_ He asked himself. He sat next to the upset girl on her bed. As soon as he sat down, she threw her arms around him, crying into his shoulder. He transformed back into Danny Fenton before wrapping his arms around the crying girl.

_**I'm so in love that I acted insane**_

"I'm so sorry, Sam." He muttered, burying his face in her hair. It smelled like lilacs and lavender. He missed this smell and he knew this might be the last time he smelled it. He felt tears in his eyes again, but he blinked them away. He felt like he had to be strong for the girl he loved.

Sam sobbed harder. He did read it. But why? Why? "Why?" She whispered. Now he knew that she still loved him. Why was he here, then? To tell her to get over him? To tell her that he feels sorry for her boyfriend? Why did he read it? She was so confused and he questions all started with 'Why?'

_**And that's the way I loved you**_

"I was so over-protective of you. I didn't want you to get hurt because I'm so in love with you. I didn't want to lose you. I went through that once before. I saw what I turned into when I lost everyone I loved. It was scary and I'm a danger to you. I was crazy, acting insane, to not let you come. I should have never called you by your full name. I'm so sorry. I just love you so much." Danny kissed her hair, tears slowly coming out of his eyes, falling into her hair.

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Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush**_

Sam's lip quivered as she listened to him. _Did he just say he still loved me?_ She thought. She couldn't believe if he was talking about now, or then. She hoped he was talking about now. "Did you just say that you – you love me?" She stuttered, the tears in her eyes seemed to stop.

_**And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you **_

Danny took a deep breath. "Yes. I did. I love _everything _about you. The way you take charge, how you don't let anyone tell you what to do or think, how you're tough inside and out. Yet, you're the sweetest girl on the face of the planet. You always put others before yourself, even if it isn't the best intention. You're smart and beautiful. I was stupid for leaving you, Sam. Will you take me back?" He pleaded into her hair, scared to look inside her amethyst eyes.

_**Oh and that's the way I loved you**_

Sam tried to pull back to look at him, but she didn't want to remove her arms from around him. She was afraid he would disappear and she didn't want to lose him again. He loved her. He still loved her, even when she screamed that she hated him. She loved him back. She felt so complete again. She started to cry again.

He pulled back now. She was crying again. He started into her red, puffy, beautiful eyes. Tears ran down her face, but she was smiling. He raised an eyebrow. She was crying, but she was smiling. Girls confused him, but just because he was clueless.

_**Never knew I could feel that much**_

"Oh, Danny. I missed you so much. I will. I love you" She whispered, leaning in to kiss him. He met her halfway, tears streaming down his face. The kiss was soft and innocent, both of them suddenly complete.

Sam's heart screamed in delight. It told this was what she was missing. She needed Danny. Without him, she was just an empty shell wandering around. He was the one to make her laugh, to stand by all her decisions, even if he didn't agree. He was her other half. She never wanted to be without him as she melted into his arms.

Danny felt complete. He found the girl he needed. She kissed like Sam. She dressed like Sam. She smelled Sam. She loved everything Sam does. Even better, she is Sam. Now, he didn't need to look for the girl to replace her. Right then and there, he vowed to never let her go again.

_**And that's the way I loved you**_

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_**Did you like it? Please review. If you're an author, you know how reviews make you feel. You don't have to, but it's nice, right? ;D. Special thanks to my extremely amazing friends, Rossie and Charlie, for telling me about the song. ;). Thanks to my reviewers and readers. :).  
**_

**Amour de l'eau :D.  
**


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